to see clearly

belatedly . . .

2008-01-12T09:23:00.000-08:00

. . . I'll offer my Christmas greeting and best wishes for the new year.

This was my house, all decked out for Christmas:
Last weekend I finally got rid of my little friendly tree. He managed to fill up my apartment and make it very cozy! Unfortunately, the time I spent in Oregon kinda dried him out so he left behind a big mess of needles.
Now I'm left contemplating the collection of things I need to commit to hanging on the wall. I think this is an instance of designer's curse --the "shoemaker's children going unshod," if you will. I make design decisions all day and I can't figure out how to decorate my own apartment!
That's one of the things I'm mulling over my coffee this morning . . .
My plan was to spend some time cozily reading in bed, which didn't quite turn out the way I hoped. I settled in with some reading and my mug of coffee but managed to spill some. Maybe I should be more awake when I handle beverages. I guess if I wasn't awake then, I am now.
Which brings to mind all kinds of other things I should do. So I'll be on my merry way. (I just wanted to say something to acknowledge the new year and a wonderful christmastime.)

you open your hand

2007-12-11T20:09:00.000-08:00

The week before Thanksgiving found me tired, busy, and feeling just a tad overwhelmed (I think I just made one of those impossible statements, like trying to top a superlative --"very perfect" things are really, quite simply, "perfect" things. The fact is you're either overwhelmed or you're not!). I was very busy at work, completing a mountain of work only I could do, I was busy with church events that kept me out till at least 11 three out of five days a week . . . and I just needed a break. I tried to get myself to be thankful, collecting so many blessings: a degree finished, a new job, a new city, independence, health, all obvious things when you're trying to stir up some painfully slow and necessary feelings of gratitude.

I sat down and read the psalms. I turned to the later ones, knowing that those seemed to be overflowing with all the thanksgiving that I somehow lacked. Could I borrow just a little of that enthusiasm?

psalm 145.
"the Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made . . . the eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. you open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing. the Lord is righteous in all his works and kind in all his works. The Lord is near to all who call on him . . . he fulfills the desire of those who fear him."

Suddenly I could be thankful. To a God who cared about me. Who answered my prayers.
With a resounding "YES!"
(I told my Bible study group this: I am not used to the yes answers. I'm used to the kind redirection of a father who is so much wiser than his child. The Father does know best.)
I had spent months praying that I would find work, a new job in a place where I could use my gifts for him in the office and in the city and in the church. Where I could pour myself out for all of these things like never before and grow! grow! grow!

And there it was staring me in the face. He gave me those things! What I asked for! Happier than a little kid at Christmas (still tired because of waking up too early to unwrap presents, but there's no time for sleeping.)

And now I could sing, because it wasn't about stuff anymore.

"they shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness and shall sing aloud of your righteousness . . .
"my mouth will speak the praise of the Lord,
and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever."

Forever and ever.

Now that's a superlatively long time.

maravelous, darling.

2007-11-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

It's November already?!

Life has been busy, that's for sure. Still working hard at work. I've been been spending my days working on CAD drawings and everything else --getting portfolios up to speed and preparing presentations. I still love it. That fact has taken me by surprise, a little bit. I thought that by now the novelty would have completely worn off and I'd be resentful of going to work all the time. I'm so glad to have found something I love to do!

Life at Grace is also keeping me occupied. Along with the usual Community Group every week, I'm taking an intro/membership class AND another class on Sunday mornings before church.
It's a good kind of busy, but thankfully my weekends are slowing down. Until last weekend, I'd had visitors or some big plan every single weekend. No time to feel homesick! Although, it's obviously been a while since I was home because last week I actually got an email (*gasp!) from my brother telling me that it wouldn't look good on my review if I didn't make it home to Oregon more often. I hope Thanksgiving comes quickly enough and my ratings don't plummet terribly.

So, . . . since I've written last:
One major portfolio restructure and deadline, met.
One weekend retreat with Grace Seattle, spent at Fort Flagler --an old base. Met people, listened to people, and played sardines in dark, scary bunkers. Took the ferry! (beautiful)
One visit from parents. Novel idea, to host your parents. When they came to see me at school it was never for very long, and I didn't really act as a tour guide in any sense. But now hopefully my mom is satisfied that I am not living out of boxes and that I eat food, and meat, occasionally. We toured through downtown Seattle ( I marched them up and down the hills, like the taskmaster I am) to show them the market, the library, and my place of work --that last one especially is in all the latest tour guides. :)
One flat tire, not complete disaster because it involved
One rescue, tire change by friendly church people.
One visit from dear Molly. This entailed the drinking of local pumpkin beer and the cooking and consumption of some lovely pumpkin soup among other things.
One pair of heels, RIP. I pound the pavement pretty aggressively, apparently.
One cookie frosting and decorating session.
One baking semi-disaster (this does not involve the aforementioned cookies). I tried to make my mom's "koek" --spice cake- recipe. First, I tried to soften the butter and then managed to over-melt it AND slosh it all over my cute and clean kitchen. I'm not ALWAYS that klutzy. And then I kinda messed the baking soda up by not letting the batter cool enough before I added it. So it came out a little flat, but edible. Not just like mom's, in other words.
One meeting in Bellevue. I got lost on the way. Thankfully, it was an absolutely gorgeous sunny day and I was just along to check things out. (In this case, I was glad to feel inessential!)
One more design awards event. Cocktails!
One trip to the symphony, my second visit since I've been here. A friend in my CG who is also taking the membership class had tickets for Thursday night so we played hooky. Ravel and Debussy. (The first visit was with the British invasion. A science fiction themed something-or-other. The tickets were bought while I was dress shopping for that last dress-up event. They mumbled something about John Williams on the phone, but the combination of my distraction and their accents made me wonder if I heard correctly. But I did. They didn't tell me all about it on purpose! There were Darth Vader sightings at that event. I think that those were the only tunes I recognized, actually . . .)

and finally
One lovely, unplanned, completely relaxed and uneventful Saturday.

fancy schmantzy

2007-09-29T11:35:00.000-07:00

On Thursday I got to go to a black tie event for work: the Northwest Design Awards --where my boss won an award for her house. One of the gals at the office took pictures so you finally get to see some evidence of my life here!So this is the office and some of my coworkers. And if you analyse this photograph very closely, you can understand where I sit. That lamp just behind my shoulder there? Well, I sit across from the woman who sits there. :) So, off the photo to your right.
Here's our pretty table. I was pretty tired all week though! So busy. Robert and Ben visited last weekend, so we went to the Space Needle for dinner the night before they left. Also fancy, but very cool. The city looks very nice at night. Unfortunately, they were asking me what we were looking at and a lot of the time I had no idea! I think I might have to invest in a map and do some exploring.

Meanwhile, I still love my apartment and my neighborhood. Last night I walked to the grocery store and it was such a pretty night out. It was just getting dark and the air was so crisp. People were walking up and down Queen Anne, making for fun people watching and --I'll admit it-- eavesdropping. {Here I will insert a side rant. This is amusing when you're walking down the street and only hear snippets of conversations. However, I DO NOT want to hear the travails of your relationship on the bus on my way home in the evening. Why o why do girls do this? I refuse to have phone conversations on the bus. Texts are fine . . . but I've promised myself I won't be the loud-talker narrating my "dramatic" experiences to a best friend over the phone --along with the rest of the Route 2 Express riders in Seattle. Okay, I'm done. }
I love walking by the Metropolitan Market with all the flowers out on the street (organized by color. Pretty!) and by the old-ish churches, and the restaurants with people eating. I'm hoping to make it out to see the view from Nob Hill one of these nights. The other weekend when I got a ride home from hanging out with my old dorm-mates we were driving up there and the view was amazing.

Last week I signed up to go on a retreat with the church here. Should be fun! Have been going to a community group with some great people here in Queen Anne and I got roped in. The next day I had three different emails in my inbox with different things I could get involved with. They're quick!

I should get going though. I have a few things do do around the apartment and then I'm supposed to meet up with Ayda for some park exploring/sushi.

learning curves

2007-09-16T16:04:00.001-07:00

My blog has been suffering form a pathetic lack of updates, despite the fact that new and exciting things are happing in my life. My apologies. And I'll add to that by quickly adding a hasty apology for the lack of pictures. When I got my internet hooked up on Wednesday I brought my camera to work and everything, but when I whipped it out at the bus stop to take a picture, the camera was already blinking for lack of battery and somehow I haven't managed to get any new ones yet. But I'll try to entertain you with my settling in stories.

The move up here went very smoothly. Mom and Dad were the stars of the show: we got the truck and the Civic up here full of my stuff (sans furniture) and then promptly made a quickie trip to Ikea for the staples: a bed, some chairs, a table, and a bookshelf. I had to make rapid-fire decisions (QUICK! white or birch or whatever-other-color-under-the-sun. I like to second guess) and prioritize --steering away from those pretty dishes, your five-dollar Wal*Mart bargain set from college will do for now.
Dad very nicely began putting everything all together before he and mom drove back to Salem that evening, so Mom could be satisfied that I had a bed to sleep on and food in the fridge before she left. The bookcase set was short three dowels, so I had to wait to be able to put my books away until I could make a run to the hardware store up the street the following Saturday. I had to make sure I put my kitchen in order that evening, though. I couldn't let myself go to bed until I had!

The next day I checked out services at Grace and settled into my apartment a little more, wandered around the neighborhood on the very pretty day that it was.
It was very nice to have the Labor Day weekend to move in; it gave me an extra day to organize and clean up around the apartment. (My very generous closet was full of big brown boxes that I had to flatten and recycle!)
The first day of work I was prepared with the bus directions that I'd printed out beforehand . . . I've decided that rather than navigating through commuter traffic in Seattle I'll let someone else handle that and I take the bus in to work (paid for by work. Nice!). This gives me time to wake up in the morning, read a book, and brush shoulders with the locals. I ride down most of 3rd Ave in the morning; sitting on one side I can crane my neck and occasionally catch glimpses of the library and from the other side, views of Pike Place. I see the Space Needle all the time, no biggie. :) After work on Tuesday I went to buy my bus pass at the drugstore that's at the bottom of the hill. I figured I'd walk since it was so close, fully aware that the return trip up the hill wouldn't be as pleasant but figuring it was a rite of passage. So I did it! (This is one of the first things I tried to photograph for you . . . when you see it, you will find all the confirmation that you need to prove that I really am a little crazy!) It's really steep, and I was grinning most of the way up at the thought of most of the drivers who might be observing and shaking their heads.
I'm really liking work so far: the people are great, the office itself is so nice, and I feel productive again. Like a contributing member of society! My office is on the south side of downtown, so I pas a few missions on the way in as well as some designer showrooms. Makes for an interesting mix, I suppose. The days have been flying by, with very short lunch breaks, but I have managed to sneak into the bookstore in the corner and pick up some reading material for the bus (I don't have a library card yet, or a Washington driver's license, but those things will come). Most of all, it's good to be working and using my education --although, for all that time we spend in school there are so many things that you can only learn once you hit the ground running. In heels, no less. If you're wondering, I'm helping with a hotel project at the moment, and I've been pulling a few things together on presentations. This past week we had a photo shoot at the office (yes. Witness the panic on my face at the thought of having to pose for what feels like an eternity with a plastic smile on my face! I really don't like being photographed) that will serve to update the firm's website. So keep checking, and you may see my smiling/grimacing face up there along with my lovely coworkers' sometime soon!
Church has also been good . . . I'm looking forward to getting more involved here. It seems like there are a lot of other people in my age group there which is pretty cool. Although, apparently that's the thing with Seattle. People move to the 'burbs once they have kids because the schools aren't very good (and the expensive house prices). I got a call after the first time I visited from their pastoral intern --who apparently lives across the hall from me! Small world. I haven't actually bumped into him yet, but how crazy is that?!

Yesterday I spent most of my day in downtown Seattle meeting up with friends that I was in the dorms with my freshman year of university. Megumi was here for a visit and made a quick jaunt up here with Sachi when we realized how many of us were up in the Seattle area. I got to see Kin --my RA, whom I lived with my second year-- for the first time since she graduated. She's up here now, with her husband who works for Microsoft. Another friend is studying up here at UW and yet another is living in Tacoma. There was a lot of laughing going on! We roped strangers into taking our photos, and remembered all the crazy drama from living on campus. We made a requisite trip to the Mariners souvenir shop so the girls could look for Ichiro souvenirs to take back to Japan, as well as to the first Starbucks. And another Starbucks. And then Indian food. I don't think I've eaten so much in a long time!
(I promise, I really was going to pictures for you, and even carried around a battery-less camera all day but that mission got a little lost in all the fun we were having. )

And today it's raining. I love fall! But it was a little scary when I tried to drive up THE HILL this morning after church. I might have pealed out a little in the Civic. Ouch. I guess this is part of the growing pains of getting used to a new environment!

seattleite satellite

2007-09-12T09:54:00.000-07:00

I'm here!
As of thirty minutes ago I have internet access at my apartment. I have to race off to work soon, so I don't have time for much, but I'll leave you with the quintessential view of Seattle as seen from Kerry Park --a hop skip and a jump (which translates to about two blocks) from my new home in Queen Anne.

sit back and . . .

2007-08-08T16:36:00.000-07:00

So maybe I'm not worried about after I get to Seattle, but I still might have been a little stressed:
When setting my alarm for yesterday morning, I managed to set the actual time and not just the alarm time a whole hour ahead so I was awake and showered by 5:30am for my househunting trip to Seattle. I figured it out when no one else in the house was getting up and I ran to find my trusty cell phone, which told me the truth. I crawled back into bed and slept for another hour, and when I woke up I was in the middle of a very odd dream in which I was in some sort of meeting trying to explain interior design concepts to Steve Carell's character from the Office. It was funny at first . . . and then very very annoying.
Anyhoo, with all this rushing around to and from Seattle I was trying to find a place to live so that I could begin work on or around the 13th of this month. However, most of the places I was finding were only available on the first of September. I filled in applications anyways, but started wondering what I would do in the interim if my employers needed me earlier. But it's all worked out now, and I'm starting after the first.

*Phew. I can relax a little.

floral patterns

2007-08-04T22:37:00.001-07:00

It's finally sinking in, taking root:

I'M MOVING!

Usually I get freaked out of my mind about change and responsibility. This is part -okay, a big part- of the reason I have vowed to myself never to move my thirteen-year-old-daughter across country (should she ever exist) and why I took so long to get my driver's license, among other things.
But this whole Seattle thing? Not as much. Instead, dwelling a little more on the "do not worry" business --you know, the lilies of the field and all that.
Yes, at any given moment I can give you the apartment amenities I'm looking for --the result of many hours spent on craigslist obsessively looking for new housing listings. Weighing the merits of parking and buses and coin-op laundry and studios and one bedrooms . . . the sabrinaslist is extensive. But I'm trying not to agonize, just organize
I drove up today and looked at a few places; I'm going to go back again soon to look at some more. I never thought of Seattle as a hilly place, but it is! I was very very glad I was in mom's automatic today when I was getting myself lost in residential neighborhoods. Crazy skinny twisty roads in parts! But I am proud to report there was no panicking there, either; I calmly consulted my mapquest maps and navigated my way from one apartment viewing to the next and got myself aquainted with the area.
Be sure to make plans to visit once I do have a place! --now you have the excuse to make Seattle a destination. Although, I'll settle as a "passing through" post. :)

Now to bloom where I'm planted.

sleepless no longer

2007-07-29T22:37:00.000-07:00

Yep! I got a job, and in Seattle. Guess who's excited! I drove up to Seattle on Friday for a second interview (yes, a lot of driving. The most boring part was the traffic between Seattle and Tacoma on the way back). They tried to relieve whatever stress I was feeling before we even began the interview in earnest by telling me that they wouldn't be able to make a decision before Monday evening at the earliest, so I could just relax and enjoy my weekend. I was very obedient, and didn't even check my new, alternate, more-professional email address until late Saturday only to find that they'd emailed me a job offer before the end of the day on Friday! Even cooler is the fact that I get to do their graphics work for them (something I wouldn't get the opportunity to do in a larger firm) because their current graphics person was moving away.

In some ways, this isn't a firm I expected to work for when I was out of school. But at the same time, it will allow me to do a lot of the things that I'm really interested in working on. Life's funny.

They want me to start SOON! --in the course of two weeks. I'm thinking it might take me a little longer than that just to find a place to live, but then I'm off!

So. Big changes.

Now, to maintain this "joie de vie"

and the "take my life and let it be --"!
***

praise to the Lord who o'er all things so wondrously reigneth

shelters thee under his wings yea so gently sustaineth

hast thou not seen?

all thy desires have been

granted in what he ordaineth.

praise to the Lord who doth prosper thy work and defend thee

surely his goodness and mercy here daily attend thee

ponder anew

what the Almighty can do

he who with love doth befriend thee.

2007-07-01T22:43:00.001-07:00

I'm feeling a bit of a need to purge . . .

So, I graduated the other week. That was fun. Now I have a diploma cover . . . and I have been camping (inhaled four books in one week) and I have moved all of my things out of Eugene and I am, once again, fully under my parents' roof with all my stuff. (It's kind of a lot for my room to absorb.)

Now to figure out what's next. It may not be Portland after all, it may be Seattle. If it sounds like I'm waffling, I am. I'm wading through a whole lot of indecision not knowing quite what to do with myself yet or what to apply myself to. So, contacts are being established, meetings arranged, and in the meantime, I'm waiting a little bit.

on studenthood

2007-06-15T19:51:00.000-07:00

I turned in the last of my coursework yesterday, and promptly began reading (for pleasure, something that rarely happens during the course of a school term).
When I was in the bookstore at some point, browsing through the gazillions of pens and papers and thicknesses of mat board, I also skimmed through the collection of sale books they had out on the table and happened upon a collection of short stories by Carol Shields (late Canadian authoress; The Stone Diaries won the Pulitzer in 1995).
Anyway, the short stories are a perfect strategy for schooltime reading, it's just too bad I didn't figure that out sooner. A satisfying break, short and sweet, enough to tide me over till the next juicy novel.
Reading one of the stories caught me reminiscing about student life already.
These are excerpts from Chemistry, about a group of students and the possibility of their reunion:

"The poverty we insinuate is part real and part desire. We see ourselves as accidental survivors crowded to the shores of a cynical economy. By evasion, by mockery, by mutual nibbling away at substance, we manage to achieve a dry state of asceticism that feeds on itself. We live on air and water or nothing at all; you would think from the misty way we talk we had never heard of parents or cars or real estate or marital entanglements. The jobs we allude to are seasonal and casual, faintly amusing, mildly degrading. So are our living arrangements and our live-in companions. For the sake of each other, out of our own brimming imaginations, we impoverish ourselves, but this is not a burdensome poverty; we exalt in it, and with our empty pockets and eager charity, we're prepared to settle down after our recorder lessons at a table at Le Piston and nurse a single beer until midnight . . .

"The moment comes when we should exchange addresses and phone numbers or make plans . . . to meet on a monthly basis, perhaps, maybe in the undeclared territory of our own homes, perhaps for the rest of our lives.
But it doesn't happen. The light does us in. The too-soft spring light . . . It forbids absolutely a final embrace, and something nearer shame than embarrassment makes us anxious to end the evening quickly and go off in our separate directions.
Not forever, of course. We never would have believed that. Our lives at the time were a tissue of suspense with surprise around every corner. We would surely meet again . . .
It may happen yet. The past has a way of putting its tentacles around the present.

"We would burrow our way back quickly into those winter nights, saying it's been too long, it's been too bad, saying how the postures of love don't really change. We could take possession of each other once again, conjure our old undisturbed, unquestioning chemistry. The wonder that it hasn't already happened. You would think we made a pact never to meet again. You would think we put and end to it, just like that --saying goodbye to each other, and meaning it."

{From Chemistry, Collected Stories, by Carol Shields}

you're invited . . .

2007-05-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

If you read this, you'll probably hear about this again. Or get an actual invitation.After church at our house in Salem, June 17th --the day after graduation. My mom will not let you go away hungry, trust me.
---

Two interviews in the past two business days. One was disheartening (they were somehow under the misapprehension that I only wanted a summer job) and the other one (today's) went very well. So I should be able to work in Portland . . .
I also got a call from a firm in Seattle last week --a cool firm, that I thought was a long shot. Threw me for a bit of a loop, actually, since I wasn't expecting to hear from them at all.

Why am I always surprised by His providence?

{insert little victory dance here}

2007-05-16T08:30:00.000-07:00

Graduation is one month from today!

No, still no job. But Amanda and I went househunting on Saturday, which really just turned into neighborhood hunting and wishful thinking.
We wandered around southeast Portland looking at places we wished were for rent -in our modest price range, of course. But that got me energized to be living in Portland. I wikipedia-ed it for you (is that a verb yet? Like facebooked and texted? It's a little more awkward for spelling, I guess). Note the description of southeast as home to "hippies and hipsters." I guess I have to wean myself out of the Eugene culture bit by bit.
Quirky neighborhoods and public transportation and . . . Portland is also home for some good music --the Shins, the Decemberists, Elliot Smith, even a guy from Death Cab and one from Modest Mouse.
And the inventor of wiki.

a ruf weekend

2007-05-07T10:55:00.000-07:00

Actually, it was really good. I spent the weekend at an RUF retreat at Mt. Hood with other students from UO and UW.
It was just what I needed, especially after an intense week preparing for yet another midterm presentation in Portland. Still no job, but I've added some business cards to my collection. The conference came at a really good time, since there's always a bit of a productivity slump after the midterm before we being really piecing everything together for the final. Only one more studio crunchtime left. (Where did the time go?)
And then I could show up tired and in need of refreshment at the retreat.

Isaiah 55 | bits and pieces
"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters;
and you who have no money, come, buy, and eat!
Come buy wine and milk
without money and without cost . . .
listen, listen to me, and eat what is good
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
. . .
"as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
. . .
"so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
it will not return to me empty
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

"you will go out in joy,
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands"

--

If I am alive this time next year
Will I have arrived in time to share?
Mine is about as good this far
I'm still applied to what you are
And I'm joinging all my thoughts to you
And I'm preparing every part for you

I heard from the trees a great parade
And I heard from the trees a band was made
Will I be invited to the sound?
Will I be a part of what you've made?
And I'm throwing all my thoughts away
And I'm destroying every bet I've made
And I'm joining all my thoughts to you
And I'm preparing every part for you

sufjan stevens | all the trees of the field

--

Still digesting a much-needed feast. "And His banner over me is love."

tenyear american tenure

2007-04-16T20:06:00.000-07:00

I have lived in the US for ten years and ten days.
Weird. About half of that time I've been in university, which is an even stranger thought. Last week I had to go sign up for all my commencement stuff at the bookstore; I am now the proud owner of a lavender tassel and two hand-me-down grad gowns (one in the height bracket above me and one in the bracket below. Is it worth it to try to trade off for one in my size?) and the cap.
Two more months!

--

I had a hectic week last week --busybusybusy Monday through Wednesday (including a job interview) and then a field trip! Fifteen of the girls in my graduating interiors studio trouped up to Seattle and then Vancouver for the weekend.
I love the Seattle Public Library --it has the kind of interiors I like. Go Rem Koolhaus! I (of course) forgot my camera, but some of the other girls have photos that I might be able to post here. We saw lots of other cool things (St. Ignatius Chapel and Pike Street Market). I forgot just how nice it is to be in a city-with-a-captial-C that has lots of good design around. It really does help! Vancouver was even better. As the token Canadian I got to explain the "funny money," more specifically, loonies and toonies. We walked through the city a lot, had dim sum in Chinatown, saw some of the sights and went shopping. I went to beautiful furniture showrooms and fell in love with some designer furniture all over again. Ack. It's a curse being a design student -admiring all these beautiful things that you will never be able to afford. But it was nice to see them anyways. Some do fall short when you see them in the flesh. But some are even more gorgeous! And the worst part: if you just want to buy a book with their pretty pictures in them, those don't come cheaply either.

Just one photo --at the Steven Holl chapel in Seattle.

signed, sealed, delivered . . . i'm yours

2007-04-04T18:50:00.000-07:00

I put my babies in the mail today.
Till that moment, they're pristine. They haven't been passed over, rejected yet. Now they're gone off into the world! Little fledgling resumes. *sigh.

Exciting to see what they will become though!

here's looking "hatchoo!" kid

2007-04-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

So this one is from my mom . . . She laughed at me after it happened and insisted I share it with you. (Justine, she may even have said "bloggable!")

Yesterday we enjoyed some really good sermons. The evening service was about Ruth --well, really, not about Ruth so much. You know how it is, when you hear a good sermon in a reformed church, and even though when you look at the bulletin it can look like you're going to be hearing a character study or a moral lesson and, really, it's all about the One who makes each character. And how He brings them into the story of redemption. Anyways, the minister was making all these really good points. And just when he came to the climax of his sermon, working up to his big application question, I felt the sudden horrible inevitableness that is a coming sneeze.
I tried to supress it.
It was playing with me. You know when sneezes pretend they're going to throw a big fuss, and then disappear, only to catch you completely unaware a few seconds later when you thought all the moment of danger had passed? That's what this one did.
So right after the minister paused to give us a moment to absorb what he'd been telling us, my sneeze took that moment to completely take over and just "HaaaaaTCHOOOOOO!" I don't sneeze delicately on the best of occasions (--in fact, if I'm standing or walking when I'm sneezing, you may witness a hop, kick or a jump).
I kept my head down and rummaged through my purse for kleenex while trying not to smile too broadly at the humor of the situation.

--

The Term to End All Terms is here!
Spring Break was much too short, but I crammed in some cover-letter writing and portfolio-perfecting, a trip to the coast, as well as a tiny jaunt to Seattle (where I visited UW's campus. Beautiful enough for me to consider going to grad school there. But only for about 2 minutes.) Ten weeks left of frenetic designing, job searching, and homework.

"everything that is done in the world is done by hope" -martin luther

purloined pleasures

2007-03-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

Molly brought me some pretty wool from Germany when she was there over Christmas.

It took about two months to get here in the slow and cheap mail, but because now it's spring break I finally have time to play with it.

Isn't "knitting your brow" a funny expression? But I think I'm doing just that in concentration over my needles . . .

per your request

2007-03-17T11:22:00.000-07:00

I don't think you'll be able to critique my design from it, but yes, this is part of what I do at school. A photo of my presentation . . . and the model.But no picture of me in front loking triumphant. One of my professors from a previous studio was hovering behind me with a camera while I was presenting my project the second time and managed to capture me mid-questioning-look and awkward point-to-the-design-aspect-up-for-debate. Which she promptly emailed to me, but I'll spare you that. She didn't actually review my project with me, but when I talked to her later, the thing she brought up first was the choice of green as a choice for the graphics. Why was this a problem? "Maybe not the best for your blue eyes." Maybe that's why I'm not posting the photo with me in front! But otherwise, the critiques were mostly helpful. By this point though (after 5 years of practice), if we know our reviewers well enough before we talk to them, it's pretty easy to predict what they'll like and what they'll hate, which issues they'll want to discuss and what design struggles they don't even want to hear about.
End-of term reviews are always anti-climactic. We all work for days and days, living and breathing our projects and then we discuss our work with two different people for about half an hour each and then it's done.

We stumbled out into the sunshine to celebrate the accomplishment of being halfway through our final studio with a group lunch, and then I wandered back to school to see some of the other reviews (furniture studio and some of the architecture ones) before collapsing on the grass with friends for the remainder of the afternoon.

The perfect way to spend the rest of the day. We giggled ourselves silly and the guys played music. Very relaxing. When I got home, I slept/dozed for two hours and then got up to eat and have a glass of wine with the girls and then, when I finally got to bed, managed to sleep in till 10 this morning.

I will miss these university days.

Now I have to catch up on the rest of my life. Some things manage to fall to the wayside when a deadline looms --like housecleaning.

model behavior

2007-03-13T09:22:00.000-07:00

I spent the entire evening yesterday starting work on the model for my presentation on Friday.
I'd rather draw a drawing any day: one point perspective? two point perspective? --I'll diagram the thing to death if you want but please don't make me model a building! (Usually I leave them till the very last, which doesn't help things.)
I only poked myself with the exacto knife once, but when I didn't notice that it actually bled quite a bit I only narrowly missed staining an all-white model.
But other than that, it was fine. Surprised myself, actually.

But it's not finished yet.

springtime on campus

2007-03-05T18:14:00.000-08:00

Gorgeous weather today . . . sorry to bring up such a mundane topic, but it's so beautiful!
Spring is definitely on the way --things even smell better! The cherry tree outside Molly's room is budding and campus is looking so pretty and green. When I was driving to Salem this weekend I enjoyed the vivid green grass with the blue hills in the background. The colors are spectacular. And the sheep, I can't leave out the sheep. No lambs yet, but lots of sheep in the foreground. (I don't know why all these sheep have interstate-front properties, but I've always wondered.)

Two more weeks left to work on my studio project . . . three more weeks of term . . . then spring break!! I think Molly and I will go to Seattle for at least a little bit and drop in on our friend Ayda. Other than that, a lot of nothingness planned for me. Well, the job hunt should be pursued. At the professional firms visiting day last week, I felt rather claustrophobic. There were all kinds of firms with big splashy posters and "booths" up. And there I was, walking through the narrow aisles with my portfolio clutched tightly to my chest. A hand thrust in my direction: "How are YOU doing today?!" in a big booming voice. And: "What's your major? OOooh interiors. Well, we've got a GREAT interiors group at ---(insert "three-intial-combination of your choice" architecture firm. Really.) !"

Scary salesmen.

In the meantime, I need to cook some dinner and do some more CAD tonight. (Some days I think my life is measured in linecommands: line-copy-crop-offset-trim-zoomout-zoomin-move-line-line-
POLYLINE!-crop-zomout.)

and this is love . . .

2007-02-13T14:17:00.000-08:00

Post-birthday festivities, I am trying to get back into the school-rhythm of things preparing for a mid-term presentation in Portland on Friday. In the studio, we have mixed feelings about what to expect: we're supposed to be just fine presenting drawings and sketches on trace paper (NOT formal at all) but there will be professionals (read: potential employers) there to review our work!
Should be fun though. We'll probably end up going out to dinner as a group and collectively freaking out/rejoicing about our post-school futures.

. . . and tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I got some lovely tulips (thank-you, Mom!) and am reconciling myself to being perennially single. I put on a very good front about being an independent-career-woman type sometimes, but goodness! -I don't need a commercial holiday to remind me.

Here are some Belle and Sebastian lyrics for your enjoyment:

If you find yourself caught in love
Say a prayer to the Man above
Thank Him for everything you know
You should thank Him for every breath you blow

If you find yourself caught in love
Say a prayer to the Man above
You should thank Him for every day you pass
Thank Him for saving your sorry ass.

If you're single, but looking out
You must raise your prayer to a shout
Another partner must be found
Someone to take your life beyond
Another TV "I Love 1999"
Another box of cheapo wine

If you find yourself caught in love
You should say a prayer to the Man above

If you don't listen to the voices then my friend
You'll soon run out of choices
What a pity it would be
You talk of freedom don't you see
The only freedom that you'll ever really know
Is written in books from long ago
Give up your will to Him that loves you
Things will change, I'm not saying overnight
But something good has to give . . .

(from "If You Find Yourself Caught In Love" from Dear Catastrophe Waitress)

When I was looking for those lyrics I came across part of Stuart's tour diary where he responds to the question "your biggest influence?" with the answer:

"God. Quite an irritating answer in some regards, but I find it hard to see past the omniscient One. I'm firmly of the opinion that everything good comes from Him, from a chord change in a Beatles' song, to the sound of drums on a Joy Division record. 'Course the Beatles and Joy Division are perfectly entitled to disagree with me."

--

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights" (James 1:17) and "dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God." (I John 4:7).

I thought I was the only one

2007-01-31T21:28:00.000-08:00

I have been teased, on occasion, for taking my fascination with color a little too far. When they were visible (my last two apartments have had open closets) I organized my clothes according to color. This year, I went so far as to organize my bookshelf according to hue. I'm not one of those people who feels it's necessary to design every inch of my life, but I couldn't resist this strange compulsion. Somehow, this is the most logical order system for me and my books.

But I recently came upon this article about other people who do the same. Some have even taken it to the level of art form!
Anyways, I was reminded of this today when I walked into studio and noticed that one of the other girls (who had just moved her things into studio) had done the same thing. And we had a good chat about it.

It's confirmed. I'm a design freak. At least there are more of us.

illustrious beginnings

2007-01-27T12:08:00.000-08:00

So I haven't posted in a while . . . mostly because school started and things just seemed to get busy right away.
I'm going into part one of my comprehensive project studio. Finally, I'll be able to design something! Last term was spent doing some research and actually coming up with ideas for the project. I finally settled on a daycare. I think I'll enjoy working on it. So many people, when they have the chance to determine what they want to design, pick something very cool and unique. A restaurant, a high-end retail space. Something that you can throw a lot of money at, and, of course make it really amazing. I chose something that, on the coolness scale of things, isn't very high on the list. But really, that's why I think it has so much potential. It might be a bit of a challenge to make a sophisticated design out of something like a child care center, but I'm looking forward to it. I've been doing my research, and I've seen some really well done examples, so it can be done.
Yesterday afternoon I spent some time in studio looking at children's books. Really, it was part of my research! We were all working on precedent studies, and besides just looking at built environments, I was interested in looking at the illustration styles of the books we all remembered and loved from our childhood. Curious George and TikiTikiTembo and Babar and Madeline and Courderoy and Where the Wild Things Are and the Pokey Little Puppy and Richard Scarry and the Velveteen Rabbit and Goodnight Moon. Good memories!
So that's what I've been up to recently. Besides all the site documentation and research interviews, putting all my building drawings into CAD. More of that today . . . but the brainlessness of it is okay when you can blast the music.
David also asked me to lead a girls' group for RUF. Yikes! I was really nervous about it, but it's going alright. My first reaction was more along the lines of: "Me?! What the heck do I know about anything?" but that's not really the point. We're actually using a book by Michael Horton that covers basic tenets of Reformed theology. Good reading.
Anyways, I really do have to get back to work. I was going to work in studio today, but I think I'll just do my drawings at home. It's so much nicer to have free-range access to food and see my roommate.
So, it's back to CAD and tea for me.

2007-01-03T14:55:00.000-08:00

I am taking a creative break at the moment. I'm supposed to be working on some presentation boards for my Dad, but wasn't feeling terribly inspired. I hate it when that happens. Usually I can run through a magazine or two and things start to click. So I started thinking about some cool things I've been entertained by recently . . .

I watched Casino Royale the other day and I really liked the opening credits sequence. And, in case you haven't seen it, it didn't involve nekkid women. The graphics were kind of retro and, I thought, clever. They used playing card motifs throughout and had some fun with it. Personally, after I see the creative work that some people generate, I would love just to be a fly on the wall in their studio for a while. If you haven't seen the movie, I'd recommend it for that sequence alone (but I get excited about little design things like that) -and the gritty black and white opening scenes. I enjoyed the rest of the movie too. However, I find that sometimes I tune into the wrong things. Justine can testify to that! -I am easily distracted by furniture. "M" has some nice Barcelona chairs in her flat, and there is one tender scene in which the female lead (I suppose properly I should call her a "Bond girl") has a bit of a breakdown in the bathroom and I caught myself thinking "Ooooo. That is one nice toilet. I wonder if it's Duravit?" and then had to steer myself back to the drama at hand. One thing I did notice though, was prevalent product placement. It begins to bother me when I know I'm being beaten over the head with a particular brand. For example, I don't like it when I actually notice that "Bond . . . James Bond" is driving a Ford? And then realize I was supposed to notice, when the next car that drives by is, surely not, a Ford again? Undoubtably by design. It happened a few more times with different things, and later found a complete list of "partners" when I was trying to find more information on the designers of the title sequence. I'm glad that at least I didn't notice all the namedropping I was supposed to.

But as for some good advertising I've seen lately, Adrian showed me the Sony Bravia comercials. In order to sell the idea of "colour. like no other" they've enlisted bouncy balls on the streets of San Francisco and paint exploding over buildings. Lovely.

That, and the Target commercials this past Christmas didn't use the usual bells jingling in the background for their music; instead they used music from Goldfrapp's Supernature.

It's the little things that make the difference. Really, it doesn't take much to make me happy.

2006-12-30T12:32:00.000-08:00

On Christmas Eve I dropped my mp3 player. Sad! It had survived so much. I'd had it for exactly two years (it was a bit of a dinosaur) and it served me well. I am now observing a period of silence, living without music - but not really. I just have to use cds all the time and my family has been exposed to my musical tastes more than usual, for better or worse. (Adrian complains that all my music is too sad.)
I've ordered a new one, though, and it's on its way. Yipee! I have to work for my dad to pay for it, but it'll be worth it. It has more functions than my old one and is smaller, but still 30GB. Hopefully that's enough for a while. My last one was more than half full . . . now I have to load my music library again, which may be time consuming. I'm hoping it shows up before school starts again; I don't think I could survive the next two terms in studio without music. Scary thought! I just have to be very very careful not to drop it like the klutz that I am.

My weird, music-related anecdote for the day: In all the news coverage about James Brown's death he's hailed as the "godfather of soul." I thought out loud and had to ask my brother who, if Brown was the godfather, was actually the "father of soul"? We googled it and it's Ray Charles. Now I know. And I guess there's no mother, but Aretha Franklin has been called the queen of soul (to Elvis' "King"? But he's a different genre! I'm confused.) Ask a silly question . . .

I pick Molly up from the airport next week. I was insanely jealous when I dropped by her place at the beginning of break when she was packing up that red backpack to go to Germany. When I saw her throw on that pack (my old friend!) I have to admit to a sharp longing to pick up and leave again. It's not like I wasn't invited (they tried very hard to convince me to go), it's just the pursestrings holding me back. I guess while they all met up in Germany, the crew decided to plan another reunion in Alaska this summer. I hope that if it actually comes together I can go. I'd love to see all those folks again! -and do some sightseeing too. Nuria's already saving up.

So here's to 2007!

2006-12-22T16:41:00.000-08:00

We are the hoarse whisperers.

A hushed conversation my brother and I had in the hallway this morning.

Adrian: "Psssssssst"
Me: "hey---"
A: "Did you get anything for Nadine yet?"
M: "No.
pause
"Did you?"
A: "No.
pause
"Did you get anything for Dad yet?"
M: "No.
pause
"Did you?"
A: "Me either.
"Did you find anything for Mom yet?"
M: "No.
pause
"Did you?"
A: "No."
M: "Maybe we should go Christmas shopping today."
A: "Yeeeeeeah."

Only 2 more shopping days and the traffic was absolutely crazy.
Adrian is used to this last minute gift-shopping pressure though. Last year my mom and I both got Elvis themed gifts. My mother a lovely calendar (huh?) and I got an elvis deck of cards. We still don't know why . . .

2006-12-12T23:33:00.000-08:00

My oma passed away earlier this evening. She'd been suffering from dementia for a long time and things had steadily been getting worse. When I visited her back in October, she didn't know me anymore at all, didn't interact with me or try to talk to me. She just pointed at my very pointy shoes (I'd rushed there straight from church) as if she wanted a pair too.

But today she is with the Lord! Her struggles against mental and physical infirmities are over.

We are all flying out to Ontario tomorrow morning and we'll be there for a week. My parents have just finished all the arrangements and we have to start packing. We're leaving for the airport in something like 4 hours.

On this, my last Christmas break --the last time I might be "home" for any length of time for Christmas -- I'd been beginning to realize that life gets more complicated and takes unexpected turns. I was looking to the future and wondering what was in store . . . not knowing, not understanding.

But I love this quote. I found it last week when I was reading Derek Thomas' sermons on the ascent psalms.

"I've learnt something. I've learnt something about trusting God, of who He is and what He's like, that I don't concern myself about great matters. Because there are things that happen in my life that are incomprehensible to me. I cannot make sense of them, even if I were to spend the rest of eternity trying to unravel all of its parts, I still couldn't make sense of it. But I'm not called upon to make sense of it. I'm called to believe that God makes sense of it, and that He works all things together for the good of those that love Him, and that He weaves a pattern that is so intricate, and yet so loving and gracious, that in every thread of your life there is a gold line in it of the grace and mercy of God."

Dr. Derek Thomas, in a sermon on psalm 131.

2006-11-28T16:30:00.000-08:00

Now that everyone has officially recovered from a weekend of thanksgiving feasting, the Christmas season is upon us. We even had the tiniest little bit of snow last night! –but it’s melted away already, of course. One of my new favorite Christmas heralds is the annual airing of “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” I’d never seen it till I came to the States! Besides the fact that it has cute little kids doing the voices for the animated characters and really great music, my favorite part every year is when it faithfully tells the good news. Little Linus takes the stage, and then, “out of the mouth of babes” comes my favorite moment on tv all year:

“And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
“And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, ‘Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
“‘For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
“‘And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.’
“And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of heavenly host praising God, and saying,

“‘Glory to God in the Highest, and on earth, peace, good will toward men.’

“That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.”

I can’t help it; it gives me goosebumps every time, and sometimes I even tear up a little. But it’s a good grief.

Christmastime is here, and guess what I’m watching tonight!?

2006-11-20T11:47:00.000-08:00

Molly and I were hostesses this weekend! Yesterday we threw our own little Thanksgiving dinner for a few friends, complete with homemade stuffing, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, and of course, a turkey.
Neither of us having ever prepared a turkey before, and especially not without the supervision of our mothers, we delved into research. (My sketchbook became a home to recipies dictated by my mom)

Molly bathed and rinsed our baby bird in the sink, and then we stuffed it. Here I am with my hands under the skin of the turkey. This is the girl who's afraid enough of chicken germs that she doesn't really cook meat for herself. Aren't you proud of me?!

I have a smile on my face too! The completely stuffed raw turkey. Pretty, eh?

After we got the turkey nicely tucked away in the oven, Molly prepared some celebratory drinks.

And there's the finished product.

Leftovers, anyone?

2006-11-13T22:30:00.000-08:00

I had some errands to run today . . . so I did just that. Well, almost. I walked. Even though I have a car at my disposal this year and the weather was rainy, I decided to resolutely brave the elements in the hope of (a) saving gas and all those other good things like burning calories and (b) acclimatizing to move to a place where I might not have the luxury/convenience of an automobile. Besides, I love walking. It’s a good time to think.

But it was definitely raining. Halfway through my journey my jeans were wet through not quite up to my knees, my recently acquired waterproof jacket was a full shade darker, and my perfectly straightened hair was now curling out from beneath the confines of my hood.

And then, as I was walking to the grocery store, I saw another young Eugeneian student who was more obviously in the spirit of this great Northwest than I was: besides only wearing a sweatshirt to protect himself from the rain (okay, I’ll grant him the fact that it was a hoodie), he was wearing birks and socks.

Crazy hippie town.

2006-11-10T19:06:00.000-08:00

Michael shared this quote with me and I really liked it, so I'm passing it on to you, my gentle readers.

"I can hardly recollect a single plan of mine, of which I have not since seen reason to be satisfied, that had it taken place in season and circumstance just as I proposed, it would, humanly speaking, have proved my ruin; or at least it would have deprived me of the greater good the Lord had designed for me. We judge of things by their present appearances, but the Lord sees them in their consequences, if we could do so likewise we should be perfectly of His mind; but as we cannot, it is an unspeakable mercy that He will manage for us, whether we are pleased with His management or not; and it is spoken of as one of his heaviest judgments, when He gives any person or people up to the way of their own hearts, and to walk after their own counsels." -John Newton

2006-11-09T12:17:00.000-08:00

The weather has been toying with our emotions around here. Hot then cold, dry and then showering us with watery affection.
It was amazingly sunny yesterday morning for about 3 hours. And then the torrential downpour began. Molly was very excited and then very sad and a little mad.

Is it possible to be homesick for being away from home?
I printed a bunch of my photos from the trip this past weekend (500 of them. Oi!) and looking through them just makes me antsy. I want to get moving! I’ve looked into things a little more though, and I want to get my dual citizenship figured out. That means I’m sticking around the States at least for a while; hopefully it’s as speedy as some of the estimates which put the naturalization process at around 6 months. And then it’s the BIG MOVE to a place yet to be determined.
I keep looking ahead to that, while in the meantime school and everything else is moving along. The design proposals are still very much in the process stage. Not quite clicking together at that feverish pace but simmering slowly. Here I am, basking in the glow of my laptop screen . . . if my eyes look glazed over it’s because the thesis writing was getting to me.

Anyways, I should get back to researching. The only thing is, I’m really just itching to design something. Anything. I want to draw and to doodle! But I want a project, not just something aimless. So I’ve been playing around with graphics for different things. I got unusually excited about creating the title block and background for my presentation on Tuesday, even more so than the content.

Itching to get back to the drawing board!
(Speaking of drawing boards, quick pet peeve. Architecture is one of those pseudo-glamorous kinds of jobs that is over-represented in the movies. Saw "Click" last night. Adam Sandler's character works for a huge corporate architecture office and he's drafting up ginormous projects with a pencil! Argh! So unrealistic. Welcome to the 21st century, people! There was some good/iconic furniture in the movie but the sets could have been much cooler. I'm picky. But you probably knew that!)

2006-10-30T22:30:00.000-08:00

Our world's upside down.

"Dance and game are frivolous, unimportant down here; for ‘down here’ is not their natural place. Here, they are a moment’s rest from the life we were placed here to live. But in this world everything is upside down . . .
"Joy is the serious business of heaven."

thanks mr. c. s. lewis.

2006-10-26T18:50:00.000-07:00

So, while I was reading through my magazines I came across an ad offering to tell me more about myself by analyzing my handwriting (and sell me a pen, but that’s beside the point, right?). You can do it yourself too, by just going to the website instead of sending your stuff off in the mail and waiting a couple of weeks to hear back from an anonymous analysis. I got really excited about it . . . and spent forever trying to get the survey to work on a spotty internet connection. Who knew that the way you loop your ys and cross your ts tells you about how you relate to your parents and what kind of a leader you are? –and that word spacing indicates whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert?!

I’ll be submitting my actual handwriting to see if I get different results. But in the meantime, I found out that the slant of my writing –or maybe it was the size?- indicates that I am a very warm person and, apparently, a good lover too.

Try it for yourself!

2006-10-25T12:31:00.000-07:00

After one week in Eugene, I’m finally settling into life at school.

The first day back was a bit of a whirlwind. I tried to unpack and get myself organized, going through all the emails I’d received from my professor in the time I’d been away. I tried to read everything and at least have a clue as to what was going on and ended up feeling hopelessly behind. Sitting in on the class and talking to my prof made me feel a lot better about the whole thing: Alison was pretty confident I could catch up quite easily and be right on track for the next week.

And then, the next morning I got sick. I spent my first full day back in Eugene hugging the toilet. Ouf. What was almost worse than being sick was the very upsetting fact that I broke my twelve year streak of not throwing up! It was a point of particular pride . . . but I guess it serves me right. The next few days were kinda awful. I kept thinking I was feeling better but I couldn’t keep anything down. By the time Friday rolled around I was feeling so miserable that my mom had to come down from Salem and sweep me away in the middle of a pumpkin carving party that Molly was hosting in our apartment. (I was a dismal host, assuming the fetal position in my room and moaning every once in a while. Basically.) Usually I would consider it embarrassing that at the age of 22 my parents would have to pick me up from a party, but I was feeling wretched enough not to care.

I felt much better then next day, and my mom enforced a diet of dry crackers. But by the time dinner came around I could have real food for the first time in three days; it tasted sooooo good.
I spent the rest of the weekend recovering and sleeping . . . went to church on Sunday and said hi to everyone. I felt like a bit of a broken record saying how much I loved my trip though.

I’ve spent the last two days here at school, trying to come up with two different proposals for my thesis project before class on Tuesday night. One is fun, the other is rubbish (mostly because that was the “assigned version” –we had to dream up a project based on an article we read in a magazine). I’d forgotten how fun it is to really get excited about a project. The beginning is always so thrilling because there are so many possibilities. There I was tapping away at my laptop very excitedly taptaptatattataTAPTaTAPTAPTAptapataaTAPTAP. I’m taking a little breather form it today, but I’ll be back at work on it soon.
I stopped and talked to another prof last night – the German one who always holds me accountable to do better and encourages me to move upward and onward. I told her about my trip and how I loved Holland so much that I wanted to move there and work there. “Of course –it’s a beautiful country! So did you bring your portfolio along?” Anyways, I hope I don’t lose momentum and do make a big move when I’m done school. There are really so many options at this point I just have to pick a direction. It’s really exciting and slightly terrifying, but I can’t wait to see where I end up a year from now.

So here I sit, barefoot and crosslegged on my couch (which I’m very proud of. I’ve never had a couch before in my school apartment!) and nursing a mug of chai, contemplating some big questions. Well, pretty much the usual questions when you’re in your 20s and trying to figure out what to do.

But I have more immediate things to attend to. I still haven’t unpacked my bags completely! It’s so ridiculous because that’s the one thing I was sick of when I was traveling: living out of a bag. There are pictures to hang on the wall and a stack of design magazines to catch up on reading before I dive back into my own project. Hm. I subscribe to too many periodicals. I think there are like 5. And that doesn’t count the ones I buy for fun or the news ones I read at my parents’ . . .

2006-10-21T14:39:00.000-07:00

Some pictures from my trip!
(A very small selection. I had to choose from somewhere around 700 pictures! These are the very brief highlights!)

Justine and me, with St. Paul's behind us.

Justine in Barcelona

Aaahh, Paris.

Beautiful Holland.

Justine at Edinburgh Castle.

Hanging out with Nuria and Robert in front of the Tower of London, watching the lights on the Thames.

2006-10-17T14:11:00.000-07:00

Well, it finally happened. Today I cried.
Stoic Sabrina, the one who couldn't shed a tear when she said goodbye to good friends she may not see for many years. Who didn't shed a tear of happiness when two near and dear cousins were recently married. Who didn't cry when listening to beautiful music sung to the praise of God among his saints in foreign places, beautiful places (only nearly did). Who didn't cry when she said goodbye to one robust and teary-eyed grandmother while being squeezed to death in a great big hug and not when she gave what might be the last goodbye kiss to a frail and feeble grandmother who doesn't even know her granddaughter anymore.
And not when she turned around, and marched resolutely into the airport with bag and backpack in tow after a cheery goodbye to a cousin she'd only recently begun to get reaquainted with (this is what the separation of many miles does) -after they travelled many miles together, both far from home.
But this morning, after packing once again and running around the house trying to get organized for the move to Eugene -everything taking twice as long as usual - loading up the car, getting groceries: that litany of ordinary things that must be done as life moves on. After settling into the drivers' seat and making my way nearly halfway to Eugene, enjoying the scenic drive on the I-5 (Oregon really is beautiful), I switched the cd in the player to a new old favorite (if you'll let me invent that category); I quickly skipped ahead to my favorite track: David Crowder's "All Creatures." It's one that Justine and I had been blasting in the car as we'd been driving from place to place, visiting friends and family throughout Southern Ontario.
And then, without even realizing it, I started to cry. This is me, Sabrina, dealing with emotional crap. Telling myself to get over it.
But then I stopped fighting and started thinking. And just drove though the tears, realizing God's goodness to me his child, feeling overwhelmed with love. His love for me. His graciousness to me. And to the ones that I love and who love me. To creation as a whole.
I only snapped out of it to stop speeding. As much.

So this late Canadian celebrated a late Thanksgiving this morning. It's good to be back.

All creatures of our God and King
Life up your voice and with us sing
O praise Him, alleluia
Thou burning sun with golden beam
Thou silver moon with softer gleam
O praise Him, O praise Him
Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia

Thou rushing wind that art so strong
Ye clouds that sail in heav'n along
O praise Him, alleluia
Thou rising moon in praise rejoice
Ye lights of evening find a voice
O praise Him, O praise Him
Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia

Let all things their Creator bless
And worship Him in humbleness
O praise Him, alleluia
Praise, praise the Father, praise the Son
And praise the Spirit, three in One
O praise Him, O praise Him
Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia

Praise, praise the Father, praise the Son
And praise the Spirit, three in One
O praise Him, O praise Him
Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia

O, alleluia, alleluia
(David Croweder, "All Creatures Pt. 2" from Illumination)

Alleluia and amen.

2006-09-30T11:33:00.000-07:00

Sorry, everyone. This absence has been unforgivable, I agree. I've been keeping a journal since we left London, so I've managed to keep track of what we've been doing everyday and get my impression of places and things jotted down before I forget them forever, but you'll have to wait for that. Or borrow my journal. :)
Barcelona was a blur --the Gaudi was amazing and the weather was HOT! I have some pictures from inside the cathedral that are pretty cool. The light from the stained-glass windows was so colorful! I took a picture of the dappled light on the floor and it looks like we were in a club partying and not in a church. Justine and I immediately felt like foreigners, too, because we were absolutely cluelees when it came to the language. Makes the world that much more difficult to navigate through!
Paris . . . aaaaah Paris. Well, what a beautiful city. A very mellow place. I still maintain that I like London better, but I think that's because Paris seems like such a holiday kind of place. Too relaxing and mellow and pretty to be a place where anyone actually lives andhas to work. Are you kiddign me? Had cafe au lait, which was wonderful, and even greater croissants; I am forever spoiled for the north American variety. We especially enjoyed an evening with chocolate and wine on the steps of Sacre Coeur (in Monmartre where we were staying). That was, until we were assailed by the phenomenon that I cleverly nicknamed 'Parisites' or very forward French men. But I loved Paris. I want to go back someday.
Holland was next. I'm so glad we decided to go there. It was eye opening just to see where our roots were, and what little things of Dutch culture our families still retain. And it was so much neater and cleaner than so many of the places we've been! We stayed one night with Oma and met her siblings. There was some confusion with Dutch/English conversations, but we worked it all our in the end. We moved on to spend two days in Zwolle at Justine's relatives -which confirmed my desire to move there. Really, people! Good design everywhere there, and it's so accessible. So quaint, too: every duthc living room window has two pots in the window sill. Centered, to be more traditional, or off to one side or the other for a bit of a twist. Once I started noticing the trend I couldn't stop! We went to Utrecht on Friday and hung out with a friend of Justine's and went to an AMAZING 70's party. Reeally incredible --they painted the walls and there were some pretty good costumes there too.
We got up after a little sleep and caught our flight to Edinburgh this morning. Justine and I walked up a trail and caught some amazing views of the city. After that we trekked the city looking for a bank machine and somewhere to eat.
We're back in the English speaking world again, although I'm determined to learn Dutch and brush up on French. Being uni-lingual is so boring and not very useful. :)
But now I'm ready to sleep. My bum is sore from riding on the back of a crazy Dutch bike (this involves running and landing while the bike is in motion. I think I overdid it on my first attempt. I have a blue bruise!) and my legs are sore from the steep incline. Nothing that a great sleep can't cure.
Looking forward to finding a Scottish Presbyterian Church tomorrow.

2006-09-15T13:08:00.000-07:00

Beautiful. Well, today was a really great day, that's for sure.
Sorry it's been a while since I've been able to update you on what we've been up to, but I'll try now.
Westminster Abbey was AMAZING! I think it's my favorite so far. Justine and I got of the tube and there we were, right smack dab in the middle of (touristy) London. We managed to take a few pictures of Big Ben and walked round the Parliament Buidings before heading to the Abbey. Just beautiful. And the history! I think what I loved about it the most was that we were free to just roam around these things and get close to them. I mean, really close! Saw Elizabeth I's tomb and Mary's too . . . and Henry V. And the coronation throne (minus the stone --which is on Scotloand right now). I especially enjoyed the memorials all over the place --the ones with erratic spellings and interesting sentiments; for example ' . . . for which he was severely lamented.' Who says that anymore? And the one dedicated by the inconsolable wife. Saw Poet's corner too, of course, with Jane Austen's tablet. And everyone else's. Did you know that Laurence Olivier has one there too? I had no clue.
Form there we walked to Buckingham Palace, through St. James' Park, and then went to the National Gallery. Also incredible, to see all the artwork that I've learned about in so many art history classes. But we were a little sad; most of the 19th century ones we would have recognized were off limits for some concert or for rennovations. We spent quite a bit of time there, just looking around.
I can't remeber at the moment if went other places . . . I'm already starting to forget! Oh no!
Yesterday is easier. We got an earlier start and headed straight to the V&A. Another favorite. So much stuff! We decided not to try to take it all in and went straight to a few different exhibits. The fashion one , oof course. Some fabulous clothes on display. And lots of, what I assumed to be, current fashion students taking notes and huddled around in groups discussing the ins and outs of things. I felt rather frumpy at that point.
On that note, I've decided that pink shirts (even purple) are the in thing for men here in London. Eileen was debating getting one for Gord but she can't find one she actually likes. He'd just be conformist here though. But if you want to be more cutting edge out in North America, men take note. Pink shirts are on the rise. But in general, Justine and I are quite enjoying all the nice suits that walk by. ;)
We also checked out other well-designed things at the V&A. Saw the great Bed of Ware. Huge! And lots of really old furniture.
After lunch in front of the museum we took a lightening tour of the Natural History Museum, mostly to see the building which was highly reccomended. Booked through a dinosaur exhibit, which I must say was pretty cool. They were setting up tents for London's Fashion Week outside, which starts the 18th. These things just happen in bog cities. I really am a country bumpkin!
From there we walked to Kensington Park and saw the Memorial and the Royal Albert Hall. In the background were some little girls playing in their school uniforms -in hats! How refined! Or not. I can't imagine putting up with that as a kid.
From there we walked by Kensington Palace and ended up walking the street in front of it with all the amazing embassy/ambassador (?) houses. Kind of felt like we weren't supposed to be there, but it was beautiful. Kind of fun to imagine all the high profile things that happen behind those doors.
From there we marched through Hyde Park up to Marble Arch. Hm. Not that thriilling. Then off to Carnaby street to see many more tourists doing their shopping. And there at the end of the street, Liberty. *sigh. Amazing. Much more expensive than I will ever ve able to afford but nice to go through of course. Felt even more frumpy! But I loved, loved the fourth floor. My favorite lamps and chairs all over the place. Mmmm. Soaking it in. From there we checked out Picadilly Square and then to meet Gord and Eileen at Leicester Square.
SInce we were early, we popped into the Portrait Gallery before meeting them for Thai dinner and heading to a show. Fun!
We saw The Producers at the Royal on Drury Lane, complete with drinks at the intermission. Thanks Gord and Eileen! So much fun! It was a great laugh.
Today we had a list of things all figured out to try to see. Started out at the Southwark Cathedral and walked from there along the Thames on a very nice walk towards the Tate Modern. Saw Shakespeare's Globe before we headed in for, what turned out to be, a very long visit. Ooooooo. Drooling. Well, not really. But I loved it. And absorbed the building too. Very nice. Very satisfying. Justine and I were both saying to eachother that it was inspiring; we were both ready to go home and start working on another proejct right away! The only sad part was that they didn't have anything up in the Turbine Hall. We might be able to zip in before we leave on the 10th.
When we finally left at 3 and ate our lunches, we traipsed across the Milennium Bridge to St. Paul's. We wandered around the buidling first then headed inside to tour it. What an amazing buidling. I guess Christopher Wren was a genious after all! We climbed up to the whispering gallery and Justine tripped her way up the stairs. (not really! -just once!). I think most of the time we just sat there, slackjawed.
We toured the Crypt too, and then it was almost 4:30 and we stuck around to go to the evensong service. We were able to sit with the choir. So gorgeous! Most of you might know my affection for choral music, and boys choirs in particular. I loved it! I wanted to pinch myself, really. Although I was worried at some point that everyone else knew what
they were doing and I didn't. But that soon left. Such beautiful music. And the words! Reading the text by singing it. I couldn't believe I was there in St. Paul's, really.
Beauftiful.
This must be what travelling is all about.

2006-09-13T01:03:00.000-07:00

It's becoming difficult to blog. There's just not enough time to tell you everything! Justine's in the shower at the moment and I feel like I should be multitasking . . .
We got in yesterday morning. I guess it was somewhere around 10. The flight was mostly uneventful. Justine and I managed to have a little chat with Sally from Southampton who was seated next to me; she was very nice and gave us lots of advice on things to see and do. Justine wasn't able to sleep at all, but I managed to sleep a lot. More than I have ever slept in a plane. I was in the middle seat of an AirTransat flight and I slept for more than 3 hours. Can you believe it?? Poor Justine was sitting next to the bathroom so there was a lot of traffic around her seat, so that probably kept her up all night.
When we got in the first thing we did was make it to a real bathroom. Hurrah! And then we marched off to the baggage claim. At this point Justine began exhibiting some trouble walking. Should I have been worried? Maybe. But I thought that was normal. (She really did not get any sleep!). We managed to lug our bags off the carousel and then said good bye to Art, who was headed to a hostel somewhere in central London for the short time he was going to be in London.
We found Eileen very quickly and then headed off on the train to get home to Richmond. We were feeling pretty sweaty and dirty and ugghhhh -like we had just spent a lot of time on an airplane. So it was very nice, when affter an invigorating walk, we ended up at their flat, able to take a shower an freshen up. Eileen went out for provisions and we made a lunch before heading out to discover their neighborhood. At this point Justine was looking pretty tired but we diecided to keep plugging anyways.
We walked through Richmond, past the pretty Almshouses and made our first stop at coffee, since Justine was having a hard time staying awake even while walking. Satbucks coffee didn't helo too much either! It wasn't till we took a bit of a walk through the shops that she began to revive. :) We took a walk and Eileen showed us the farm. In the middle of London! Short photo op with the cows ensued. Then we headed back into the town to check out the shops some more and have a look around.
We did that for most of the afternoon and capped of with a pint on the green.
Here Justine was able to squeeze in a bit of a nap. We managed to keep her up till about 8 last night with dinner and email and everything else, including a brief intro to the transportation system. We had about 12 hours of sleep last night!
So now we're headed into London today. Westminster Abbey and some other places. Tomorrow looks like rain so we'll probably do lots of museums then or something. Justine is out of the shower so I should run.
We're off to tackle the busses!

(sorry for all the typos. But no time to fix!)

2006-09-11T13:21:00.000-07:00

Whooooeee!
It was a lovely weekend. Let's start with where I left off . . .
Friday night I was on a mission: I was sent to the mall with my cousin Anton to find him an outfit for the wedding. We entered the GAP with one purpose and one purpose only, and that was to get him to try on something on. :) We succeeded! Kira and Daylinn were on backup duty giving their opinions and it didn't take us too long to find somthing that worked. What took a little longer was deciding how long Anton wanted his pants to be. We had the help of several Gap employees to get it straight. And we did.
After that, I was in need of some refreshment. So I went to DQ and had a blizzard with (Canadian) smarties! Yummm. Probably I wouldn't be that obsessed with them if they were readily available all the time. But they're yummy and chocolate.
From there, we trouped to Peter's family's house for the post-rehersal dessert. We got alittle lost on the way . . . Anton couldn't find his way in the dark! So one part of that road got very familiar. :) When we finally got there I was treated to trifle and I got to met a few more members of the wedding paty and his parents, so that was nice.
The next day Daylinn and I slept in very late (we decided that we'd reverted back to Pacific time!) and got a lazy start to the wedding day. Justin, meanwhile, had to get up really early to get everyone ready of the wedding. You know, girls stuff. Hair, makeup . . . the works. When I saw her at the wedding ceremony, she was looking gorgeous, of course. I met some more family at the church before the ceremony started, so more hugs and kisses were in order. (As you may have noticed, I come from a very affectionate family!) After the wedding, there was some entertainment at the standing reception: Peter's Opa performed a song with sound effects. You had to be there, but it was amazing. I don't think anyone understood what was going on but it was GREAT! That and the beer bottle rendition of "Here comes the bride." All very well done.
Ther was some confusion at that point: Anton and Daylinn and I tagged along for the pictures to give them a ride and because we had nothing better to do. We got a little bored and in due course, Anton and I began singing a medley of the Sound of Music for Daylinn. Can you believe she has never seen that movie??! It was amazing, I must say. "I am so glad I got to share this moment with you!"
After that, there was dinner at the Ancaster Old Mill. There we enjoyed food and drinks and entertainment. More speeches, more singing, more food, more fun!
The next day was Sunday, recovery day. I was able to do Lord's Supperr at the CanRef church here in Burlington which was really nice. I also enjoyed singing the old Genevan tunes again. I wass planning to whisk off and visit my Oma B. in the nursing homeright after church and meet my Opa andmy uncle and his family there, but we got out of church too late to make it in time to met them. Hopefully I will be able to see them when I am back in Ontario in about a month.
The afternoon service at church saw an invasion of all the Lodders! They were all coming over for a BBQ here at Uncle Fred and Aunt Jackie's. At church, as usual when I am in Ontaario, I got told how much I look like my mom. And how much I act like my aunt, for those that get to know me a little better. We also got lots of helpful advice from Justine's friends for our trip. And Justine finally got her pack! We really were getting close to leaving.
The barbeque was great! There were lots of puns being thrown around, and the Lodder family is always a lot of fun to get together. Aww, good old times. I caught up with Shannon and asked about all my old classmates. Ack! --everyone's growing up! I was a really great evening though.
After everyone filtered out of the house, Justine and I started making lists of things we had to get and do before we left.
This morning we did our errands --and went to the Dutch store. So dangerous! I bought drop and king peppermints. Mmm.
Now I just have to squeeze a few more things into my bagt and we're headed to the airport! Our flight leaves at 9:50. So there won't be an update for a few days, till we've settled in.
ciao!

2006-09-08T13:38:00.000-07:00

Awww Ontario. I'm back in the "home and and native land" (for all you non-Canadians who don't understand that referencee it's from "O Canada"). While everyone else here takes a break from the heat of the day with a nap, I'll natter away in the background on the keyboard.
Wedensday's flights here were mostly uneventful. I sat around the Portland airport for quite a whioe; the instructions were to arrive quite early because of all the new security measures. So I settled in with my book for the hour and a half wait to board. At one point I looked up and recognized Sebastian and Hope (friends from UO and recently graduated Architecture students), waiting for the same flight to Newark! Such a small world. It was nice to chat with them a bit and find out their plans before we had to get on the plane. The flight was long --or maybe it just felt that way: a few rows ahead of me a toddler decided to holler his way through the night (and it wasn't just cryinging hollering. He was yelling to prove a point. On and on and on.) Poor Seb and Hope were sitting right in front of them and didn't get any sleep at all. I didn't do anything but doze in an out, with my earbuds jammed in my ears.
Said bye to them in Newark and set off to watch the sun come up before my connecting flight to Buffalo. That wass a nice flight. The plane was empty and also very quiet. Some sleep at last! Too bad it wasn't longer --that precious hour was all I got that night.
When I arrived in Buffalo it was about nine in the morning and I set off, excited to finally see my cousins and head home to crash. But they weren't there yet! The got there around the same time my bags showed up on the carousel, though, so I didn't have long to wait.
The trip home was great: Five of us squished in the car with Anton and Ryan picking and accompanying the music. And I got to stop at Tim Horton's for breakfast. Mmmm doughnuts. And coffee.
As soon as we got to Burlington I jumped straight into the shower and felt much better. Hugs all around to the rellies, and then a trip to the beach. Got a short nap in and then home again to Justine's where we came home to a note from Oma, who had droped by. She came back after a trip to the Dutch store with Tyler and Leanna in tow. More rellies = more hugs and kisses. :)
Later in the evening all the girls came over (the girl cousins. Everyone else had their baby sister there! -I missed you, Nadine!). We walked to the store to pick up the essentials: lots of ice cream and chocolate. That and a chick flick. All in all, a perfect evening.
And last night I slept beautifully.
This morning the "girl time" continued -- I tagged along as Candice and her bridal party and sisters went to get pedicures and manicures as well as some shopping.
Then it's wedding all day tomorrow!

2006-09-05T21:58:00.000-07:00

Okay, so here it is folks! I've entered the blogging work in order to keep you all posted on what I'm up to. In case I haven't bored you to death telling you this over the past, ooooh, six months or so, tomorrow I am leaving on "Sabrina's Limited European Tour." Tickets on sale now. Accepting all major credit cards.
In general, these are the plans:
:: Tomorrow I head east to Ontario to be able to go to Candice's wedding on Saturday. One wedding down, one to go! I'll be there until
:: I head to London with my cousin Justine on Monday the 11th, and I'll be staying at my aunt's exploring in and around London until
:: Tuesday the 19th, when Justine and I fly to Barcelona for a couple days,
:: then we're off to Paris from the 21st until we head to Holland by train. There we'll check out Rotterdam and Amsterdam, as well as meet up with my Oma. She's going to be visiting with her brothers at a cottage to celebrate her 75th brithday, and we're dropping in to say hi and soak up some Dutch coziness.
:: From Amsterdam we'll fly into Edinburgh on the 30th.
:: Then, we're back in London on the 2nd of October. The next day Nuria is flying in from Germany and we'll meet up with Robert and head west to check out Bath and celebrate R's birthday in Bristol.
:: Justine and I will be flying back to Toronto on the 11th of October. Shannon's wedding is on the 14th, so we have a little bit of time to recoup and then it's time for more fun!
:: I'm flying home to Oregon . . . I don't even know! I think the 16th or the 17th. In any case, I'll be back late for school.
*sigh. And then it's back to real life for me.

I spent the weekend NOT getting ready for my trip by going to Crater Lake instead. Thomas took this picture. Such a beautiful blue . . .

2006-09-03T16:16:00.000-07:00

Checklists. Mental notes. Post-its.
Just a few more days till the big trip begins!